


Ocean Eyes

by daveypuget



Category: AFI (Band)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood Era, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Jade and Davey are really in love, Javey are endgame, M/M, Marissa is a good person, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 14:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daveypuget/pseuds/daveypuget
Summary: Jade has been living a double life for years, but eventually, something has to give.





	Ocean Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't the first javey fic that I've written ( or at least, started writing ), but it is the first one I've posted here, so be gentle with me. This fic was inspired by Jade's cover of Billie Eilish's Ocean Eyes + his recent trip to Hawaii, originally supposed to be a short one-shot, that has somehow taken on a life of its own and turned into a several part fic.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, created for entertainment purposes. I am not affiliated with Davey Havok, Jade Puget, or AFI in any way.

Getting back into a normal routine after being on tour always takes some adjustment. Jade and Marissa’s post-tour trip to Hawaii is supposed to help him ease back into things, but this time, it only makes him feel worse. He’s tired, irritable, and can’t focus to save himself.

Marissa, to her credit, does her best to keep his spirits lifted with activities that he enjoys, and he truly does appreciate it, but there’s no way to sugarcoat the fact that he misses Davey. And although she hasn’t said anything, Jade knows that his wife is well aware.

Another sleepless night finds Jade down on the beach, water lapping at bare feet, and the weight of the world resting heavily on his shoulders. He wonders what Davey is doing, whether he’s still sleeping or getting ready for the day ahead, if he’s lonely too and missing Jade as much as Jade misses him.

They just spent months on the road together, practically glued at the hip, and less than a week later, Jade is already pining for him like a lovesick teenager. It’s pathetic, really. But then again, Jade has always been pathetically in love with David Marchand.

Glaring out at the moonlit ocean, he tries his best not to let his mind wander to thoughts of Davey being here with him instead of Marissa, stubble against his cheek, a strong hand in his. Jade feels guilty, not only for his treacherous thoughts, but for being the reason all three of them are teetering on miserable.

Marissa, because she’s in love with a man who can’t make up his mind. Davey, because the man he loves is a selfish bastard. And Jade, because he’s been screwing Davey and lying to his wife for the entirety of their relationship.

Sometimes, he tries to justify it to himself by clinging to the knowledge that he’s in love with Davey just as much as Davey is in love with him, and the only act they’re committing is an act of love -- but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s unfaithful, both to his wife, and to the commitment he made when he became straight edge.

The world sees him as Jade from AFI, guitarist extraordinaire, staunch straight-edge vegetarian, and dedicated husband. Deep down, though, Jade knows what he is: a liar and a cheat, and he doesn’t deserve either of them.

Trudging back up the beach with a heavy sigh, Jade flops onto a lone beach chair that someone left behind, not ready to go back to the resort and face his wife and her knowing eyes just yet. No matter how good he thinks he’s hiding something, Marissa sees all.

No, it’s better for both of them that he stay out here with his guilt and ever-consuming thoughts of Davey fucking Havok. Fishing his iPod from the pocket of his board shorts, Jade slots the ear buds in and hits the play button, letting a soft melody wash over him.

_I’ve never fallen from quite this high, falling into your ocean eyes…_

**

“Jade?”

He looks up at the sound of Marissa’s voice, guilt flashing across his face because she’s caught him mid-Davey thought yet again, though there is rarely a moment when he isn’t thinking of him. This time, his train of thought is thinking about getting his hands all over that muscled, tattooed body when they meet for dinner later.

“Honey, we need to talk…”

Jade feels his stomach drop instantly. The only time anyone leads with _we need to talk_  is when it’s serious, and judging by the look on his wife’s face, this is definitely serious. The guitarist exhales a breath, and sets his phone down on the table.

“Okay. What’s up?” Whatever Jade is expecting, it certainly isn’t for Marissa to sit in the chair beside him, smile in that gentle way she always does, and hand him divorce papers.

The genuine shock must register on his face, because she reaches out to place her hand over his, squeezing gently, an obvious attempt at comfort. “It’s time, Jade. We both knew this was coming, it was just a matter of when.”

Of course, Jade always knew that at some point, he would have to choose between his wife and his lover, because having them both forever was never an option, he just never expected for Marissa to make the decision for him.

He looks over at his wife with tears burning in his eyes, and wishes he could undo all of the hurt that he has caused her. Marissa is a good person, and he’s done nothing but lie and deceive her since they met. Perhaps some of the blame falls on Davey as well, but mostly, the blame lies solidly on Jade’s adulterous shoulders.

“I’m in love with Davey.” The words come out before he even has time to register that his mouth is moving, and he sits, frozen in fear of what her response might be.

Marissa sighs, squeezing his hand a little tighter, “I know, honey. I’ve always known. Once upon a time, a selfish part of me thought that maybe you would grow out of it, but deep down, I always knew it was supposed to be you and him.”

Tears spill down Jade’s face as she speaks, years of guilt and shame and fear finally brought to the surface. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Marissa. You don’t deserve this.” He finds himself clinging to her, a damp patch spreading across the material of her t-shirt.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay,” Her voice is soothing, though he can’t fathom why she is being so kind to him after what he’s done. “I came to terms with this a long time ago. My only regret is that I didn’t set you free sooner, and instead contributed to you needing to hide your love for him. But that changes today. You deserve to love in the open.”

**Author's Note:**

> And there we have it, folks. Part one! Part two coming soon. Hopefully there's someone out there to actually read this, since the javey tag doesn't get updated very often ( I'm hoping to change that, though ). Find me on tumblr @neonofferings. And if you haven't listened to the cover yet, you can find it on jadepuget.net, it's honestly amazing.


End file.
